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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

From Huffington Post: Obama and the Racists

August 19, 2008

Andy Borowitz

Poll: Obama Faring Poorly Among Racists

Posted August 18, 2008 | 09:14 AM (EST)

In a potentially ominous sign for the presumptive Democratic nominee, a new poll shows Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) trailing far behind G.O.P. standard bearer Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz) among voters who identify themselves as racists.

Pundits and pollsters alike have wondered about the role racists might play in the 2008 presidential contest, but the new survey released today was the first concrete attempt to take the pulse of this key voting bloc.

The poll, conducted by Duh Magazine, suggests that Mr. Obama faces an uphill battle in his effort to win the votes of dyed-in-the-wool bigots.

"We wanted to know, why isn't Barack Obama closing the deal among racists?" said Charles Plugh, editor-in-chief of Duh. "The answer seems to be, because he's black."

In a head-to-head match-up, likely bigots chose Sen. McCain over Sen. Obama by a margin of one thousand to one, with a majority of racists saying they "strongly disagree" with Sen. Obama's decision not to be white.

Asked under what conditions they would conceivably vote for a black presidential candidate, 95% of racists responded, "Only if he was running against someone from a group I hated even more, such as Arabs."

Duh editor Plugh says the poll indicates that Sen. Obama "has his work cut out for him" if he is going to make up lost ground among racists.

"Sen. Obama made a choice at the beginning of this campaign to run as a black man," Mr. Plugh said. "He could change his position on that, but racists might see that as too little, too late."

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He hosts "Countdown to the Election, with special guests Joy Behar (The View) and Jeffrey Toobin (CNN, bestselling author of "The Nine") at the 92nd Street Y in NYC on October 22 at 8 PM. Student tickets half-price. For tickets go to 92y.org.

Barack Obama

In a potentially ominous sign for the presumptive Democratic nominee, a new poll shows Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) trailing far behind G.O.P. standard bearer Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz) among voters who i...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/poll-obama-faring-poorly_b_119511.html?

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